Poll of a Billion Monkeys

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Barney Franks accuses President Bush of campaign of “Ethnic Cleansing”

The Glair - Barney Franks accuses President Bush of campaign of “Ethnic Cleansing”

By Jermaine Washington Gillespie
Missive Internet News

Last updated: 8:10 PM
Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Congressional Rep. Barney Franks has accused President Bush of engaging in a campaign of ethnic cleansing in order to secure the city of New Orleans and the state of Louisiana for future Republican control.

Said Representative Franks, “I believe, as do most other thinking Democrats that the administration's handling of the situation with regards to hurricane Katrina was little short of a conscious campaign of ethnic cleansing. What the Republicans did down there, spearheaded by President Bush, was to allow the hurricane to come in and destroy entire sections of the city and state while making no provisions for colored peoples, darkies, Negroes, and other ethnic undesirables to escape. Then they backslid on the effort to clean up the depressed areas of the city. Why some quarters are still without bars, whore and crack houses, gumbo trucks, or barbecue pits to this very day.”

“Furthermore,” representative Franks continued, “they (they meaning the Republicans) then depopulated the colored areas so as to plant Lily White replacement communities. I think of it as social engineering of a high degree. We take our colored Democratic constituents very seriously, and it is our considered opinion that the very best thing we can do for them is keep them herded in tight clusters where we can easily register them to vote in Democratic primaries and see that they are properly publicly educated at reasonable costs in very effective inner city schools. Also Democrats know that it is easier to control crime in these areas when they are all clustered tightly together in case of a riot or an OJ-trial type situation. As a leading Democratic proponent of gay and minority rights I favor tight clustering of as many people as possible, whenever possible. It’s just more effective that way.”

“But the most disturbing thing of all is that I, along with other thinking Democrats, have come to suspect recently that President Bush politically employed the Army Corp. of Engineers in two separate and very negative ways. First of all we suspect he purposely instructed them to weaken the levee system so that when the hurricane did strike the levees could not withstand the strain. And secondly we think it may very well be possible that President Bush had, prior to the storm, instructed the Army Corp. of Engineers to use their new WOT hurricane creation weapon. This allowed the Republicans to greatly amplify the force of the hurricane thereby achieving a level of ethnic cleansing unheard of in modern times. All while cleverly disguised as a seemingly ‘natural event.’ Of course everyone is already aware that if not for President Bush then Hurricane Katrina would have never occurred in the first place because we wouldn’t now be feeling the disastrous effects of Global Warming which is responsible for the existence of hurricanes anyway.”

“We have no direct proof of any of this of course, the Republicans and President Bush are far too clever and evil to be deceived by anyone other than Dick Cheney. And they are all far too clever to leave any public evidence of their misdeeds so as not to ever suffer potential political backlash. But one day they will screw up and then we’ll have them by the short pubic hairs. And am I ever looking forward to that day!

For the record it is important to note that Representative Franks is not the first well-known Democrat to make the accusation that President Bush has developed War on Terror superweapons. In 1992, years before becoming President and years before the War on Terror officially started the Congressional Black Caucus accused George W. Bush of instructing the Skull and Bone contingent within the Pentagon to create such futuristic megaweapons as the San Francisco Earthquaker, the Chicago Conflagrator, the South East Asian Tsunami Device, and of course the Mount St. Helen’s Superlavabelcher.

Furthermore it is predicted by the National Coalition of Forward Thinking Scientists that in the year 2022 Democrats will finally develop a parallel dimension reality machine which will allow them to conclusively prove that President Bush and the Republicans orchestrated the entire Cold War to discredit the AFL/CIO, and Democratic genius and House bulwark Tip O’Neil. But that’s a story for another day.

© JWG, Jr. 2007

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4 comments:

drew said...

In other news, Karl Rove admitted today that he and George H. W. Bush invented atheists in 1984 "to give white trash bible thumpers something to rally behind." He went on to say, "We all know that they aren't smart enough to understand economic issues and they're too ethnocentric and blindly patriotic to really care about foreign policy, so we needed something to really strike the fear of God in them. The Satanists weren't really cutting it anymore (I don't think anyone really bought into all that hoodoo stuff in the first place), so George came up with atheists." In an aside, Rove said he'd "like to admit [they] invented homos, too, but those fellas are too queer to make up."

Jack said...

I'm not quite sure how or why atheists would fit into any this Drew (unless you just happened to be looking at the picture of Tip O'Neil when you wrote that) but I like this line: In an aside, Rove said he'd "like to admit [they] invented homos, too, but those fellas are too queer to make up."

Not because of the veracity but as a play on words I just like the way you phrased it. It made me laugh.
You're getting better at that kinda thing.

drew said...

I was just using the atheists to show how Republicans could be accused of exploiting religious conservatives the same as Democrats could be accused of exploiting their black constituents, as demonstrated in the article. I don't believe anyone is innocent on capitol hill.

And thank you, I thought that line might be a good one.

Jack said...

I gotcha now. I thought I had missed something about Franks or O'Neil.

Yeah, everybody uses everybody else for something at sometime, either intentionally or unintentionally. That's life I guess.

Not perfect, but better than pie.
Well, better than some pie anyway.