Poll of a Billion Monkeys

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Marxed - Your Job, Should You Choose to Accept It...

Marxed - Your Job, Should You Choose to Accept It...

Your job is to regurgitate as many people as you've ever eaten.

The rules are simple:

1. On Tuesday no one is to look at what you vomit, unless of course they have previously decided to do so, and would like a sneak-peek.

2. The Spanish Inquisition may not intervene unless the partially digested limbs of at least three people show up in your efflux.

3. The Spanish Armada is checkmated at the first opportunity, then hung at daybreak. (I think we can all agree that no-one cares much for the Spanish Armada.)

4. Do not eat yourself by accident unless you wish to suffer indigestion and probably an impaction that will result in painful defecation.

5. Diarrhea does not count as a proper regurgitation, unless up to four people are passed in this manner by the morning of the third day. If that happens everyone eats their next door neighbor and the game continues on from that point with no survivors.

6. If anyone is left standing by October 31st then that's your problem.

7. 8 Days a Week is considered the standard. Standards are voluntary and optional, but not necessarily encouraged.

8. All decisions and counterdecisions must be made by High Tehranian Tea Time, three months from now, then eaten ex post facto. Before this can happen any decisions must have been made the previous Monday and countersigned in wax with up to but not excluding over three witnesses, verified on the internet. Only internet verification or email disnotification will count in cases of an indisputable tie. Regurgitated and imaginary verifications are considered valid if you can trace the remains four generations into some alternative future that will never happen.

9. When everyone has been properly regurgitated that will signal the end of the pre-sumptuous Starting stain. This will be further clarified by Jimmy Hoffa digesting his own liver, painfully if possible. Once that has been verified by email someone will be elected referee by democratic and secret vote. Obviously no-one will know who this person is except himself or herself, and of course they won't know either. It's secret. Underhanded shenanigans will not be tolerated because that is the point of this game.

10. Blah, blah, blah, and something else and something else, and other stuff too.

Well, that's it folks. If you think you can follow those rules and live with that then I don't want you around me.

Go play by yourself.

No comments: