Marxed - Evolutionary Race Mixing Negro Chink Missing Link Greenpeace Art Activist Lost under Peruvian Pile of Visiting Texas Midgets
Thu July 4, 2006 13:15 PM ET
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By Harry Thrombosis
While visiting Peru in an effort to find the long lost City of Golden Space Raiders from Venus the renowned Evolutionary Anthropologist and Race Mixing Negro Chink Greenpeace activist Sir Edmund Hakatuku was lost and presumed dead beneath a huge pile of Texas midgets visiting from Tijuana, Mexico during the annual Blister Tech Renaissance Festival.*
Sir Edmund "Baranda Asbaderappida" Hakatuku disappeared shortly after being surrounded by an angry midget mob upset at his classification of them as "that little scourge of Darwinian evolution." The little people began to pile atop the PhD, who was chair of the Xenophobic Lesbian and Gay African Chinese History Dept. at the University of Colorado. When the pile reached 300 midgets and over three feet tall the Peruvian authorities were called in on llamas to quell the disturbance. Sir Edmund Hakatuku, who had received an honorary title of Knight of the Bended Knee from the Ancient Order of Greek Pedophiles, had disappeared in the melee. He has not been seen since. Blister Tech corporate executives have denied all involvement and sworn in written statements that oil was not the motivating factor in the midget assault.
However authorities are continuing to investigate all possible leads.
Contacted for comment the office of Sir Edmund "Baranda Asbaderappida" Hakatuku told reporters that the visit to Peru had multiple objectives and that the PhD had hoped to achieve more than one purpose. Among these was the intended discovery of the so called "Missing Link Bone" proving an undeniable evolutionary connection between a certain genetic cluster of prehistoric gay apes from the Toulouse Latrec region of France and the artists, greenpeace activists and race mixing alien astronauts who eventually evolved from them. Sir Edmund had also intended to personally photograph and film the expedition in order to add to his own photographic portfolio, and the academic had wanted as well to make hand sketches of pregnant prostitutes of the local region. Sir Edmund, an avid artist himself has been making nude sketches of pre birth male fetal masses since the early 1960's when he led the first hippy fetal mass program at Cal Tech. And finally the trip was also designed to raise funds for a wide range of Democratic political causes by putting on a Lollapaloser benefit concert for Peruvian goat herders. The event had been expected to raise over $53.46 (US), internet contributions included. But that was not to be.
PhD Hakatuku was traveling at the time of the attack with known race mixers and midget haters Britney Spears and Democratic Labor Union leader Danny "the Cockroach" Escalante. However neither of the companions traveling with Sir Edmund in his "entourage" were attacked or even harassed during the 30 minute dwarf bang. This despite the fact that Mr. Escalante had dressed publicly as a rodeo clown and was violently inciting large groups of midgets to try and "take a run at me shorties!"Asked by witnesses and normal sized reporters why only Sir Edmund had been attacked a very hostile spokesman for the midgets declared, "That's easy Gringo Sasquatch. The Negro always gets it first!"
* Several gargantuan fat asses on personal mobility scooters were injured in the writing of this article but were compensated for their injuries and loss with supersized floaties from Dairy Queen.
© Rooters 2006.