Poll of a Billion Monkeys

Friday, September 22, 2006

Marxed - Grave New World

Marxed - Grave New World

Ignore this article. I accidentally posted it twice tomorrow.

Last Updated: Wednesday, 1 March 2006, 15:09 GMT

Grave New World

The Royal Society (RS) announced yesterday that we may all know a lot less about a lot more than we ever thought we did as humans.

A total of 1.5 million pages and 250,000 trillion articles will be available electronically to technologists. A new joint study by the Royal Society in Halifax, the California Polytechnical Institute, and the University of Pittsburgh in New Brunswick has found that people who have been publicly educated using high technology are likely to be twice as not as they are smart. This backs up several soon to be conducted prior studies which disclose disturbing trends in relational statistical models of projected non-intelligence on the part of those who consider themselves otherwise. This new study, using a brand new computer model just created should be able to conclusively demonstrate that a computer model is exactly that. The evidence is indeed compelling because even if the computer model were somehow wrong, an incredible assumption indeed, then the whole project would still be on computer and therefore would of course be self-correcting. That's the way computers work.

In a related envelopment a meticulous search of other studies, often going back several decades, has finally found them. "This could be the breakthrough we've been looking for," said Rob Zomzie, a graduate student in the field. "It's the kind of thing that could either prove, or disprove, what I'm saying right now."

"Lots of people put their hope and trust in technology thinking that technology and science will solve all of their problems despite all evidence to the constipated. The real truth of the matter is that technology won't solve all of our problems, it will merely tell us everything we don't already not know. For instance if human beings don't know something then we can just look it up on the computer or on an information collage, like the internet. Then the internet or the machine can tell us what we don't already not know. It's a totally self-retained and analogical system of misunderstanding the way we haven't yet learned to learn and the things we don't yet know but our technology and science does. Our science and technology is already way ahead of what we as human beings know, and I think people like it that way. Why it works that way is still a mystery but we're pretty sure that one day technology will tell us and then we won't have to wonder about it anymore," said Jessica Drake, University of Columbia's Chair of Ballet and Modern Dance. "See, I'm as smart as anyone else and that's what I do. Technology has levitated the playing field making everyone equated to other people. That's been the dream of prehistoric man for the last hundred years and what every fallopian society has ever worked for. And now I have it. We all have it. And so does everyone else of us too."

But can this momentus of technology and science be indefinitely ejaculated into the future? This is a question that can only be answered by repast generations and the future high priests of science and technology. One thing though is certain, it's a modern Grave New World of practically limitless improbabilities as long as we all remember that just because we don't know something doesn't mean somebody else doesn't not know the same thing we don't. Because collectively we all know more about what we already do than anyone individually knows about what he alone doesn't know about what he does. So when technology is used to properly pool that kind of knowledge base it can have surmising consequences.

Get ready to be surmised.

The future is finally hear for everyone to see.


Andrew Mendelson said...

This post is nonsense. I can't find any reference to a Royal Society in Halifax, a California Polytechnical Institute, or a University of Pittsburgh in New Brunswick, though there is a Royal Astronomical Society of Canada Halifax Centre, a California Polytechnic State University, and a University of Pittsburgh in Pittsburgh. The real problem with this post, though, is that most of the sentences are ungrammatical, or end in pronouns with unclear antecedents. And, having worked through one sentence, there's usually no thread of logic joining it to the next. I think my capability as a writer has been stunted merely by exposure to this post. For the public good, this should be taken down before someone else reads it.

Jack said...

Dear Andrew,

if you've been truly stunned then I've done my job no doubt. And maybe yours as well, but I don't won't to get too personal before we've been formally introduced.

As for the University of Pittsburgh at New Brunswick, I think your research will lead you back to this link, meaning it is on the internet, therefore, ex pre-post commento, it exists. I might say the same thing about you, you know, and be twice as correct as I am now. Hence we are all a part of the sum of our holes. Or put another way that's a darn good way to sum it all up. Now you figure out what the problem is and we'll be even.

As for the public good, who cares about that? This is the internet. Science be praised!

Thanks for all the great music over the years and come again please.

See ya,