Poll of a Billion Monkeys

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Reddit.com in Disarray: Company Said to be Reacquiring Itself

Invisible Hand - Reddit.com in Disarray: Company Said to be Reacquiring Itself -
Internet Geniuses said to be Confused, Despondent, and Suicidal

Early on the morning of December 13th, 2006 the social network, not a bug company known as reddit.com suddenly went dark.


Company officials could not be reached for comment. Indeed no one is really even sure if such a company ever existed. It is thought that it may be possible that the network existed only in the minds of pre-pubescent teens and geeks everywhere, a sort of mass hallucination internationally induced by a new phenomenon, "Internet Genius."

"Internet Genius" develops when any teen, of sufficient geekality or nerdibility, and who derives their sum total of data, knowledge, information, and intelligence through MTV Real World clips and article summaries gleaned from the Internet, suddenly increases exponentially in IQ as a result thereof.

Internet Geniuses know infinitely more than any previous generation of people precisely because they "socially network on the internet" and therefore can more easily pass so called "hard-information" onto their peers with lightning rapidity.

Sites such as richarddawkins.com have led the social network/internet genius revolution proving that if you call it science and put it on the Internet then it has to be true. Of course everyone already knows this truth to be true, hence the truth of the matter, especially the new hard-nosed crop of teenage Internet Geniuses who frequent such sites as reddit.com.

But does reddit.com really exist? Indeed, has it ever really existed?

These perplexing questions, following the terrific and sudden mass extinction of reddit.com are not easy to answer.

Will reddit.com reappear? Will it have evolved when it does?
How about the older crop of Internet geniuses? Will they still be viable? Will anyone except teenagers care?

Will an entire new technological generation develop as a result of this mass extinction? Willing to eat the older Internet geniuses in order to absorb their mutations and therefore evolve into a super-generation of even more godlike Internet Geniuses?

Time will tell.

But until that happens many of the current crop of internet geniuses, whose sole source of social contact may have very well vanished in the blink of an eye, may be left wandering aimlessly in the wilderness for 40 or more generations of the mighty World Wide Web.

Which in real time should equal about three solar days.

Stay tuned for updates as we get them kiddies,

and in your darkest moments remember,

Science Be Praised!

Reddit.com News Update: Productivity Surges

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