Poll of a Billion Monkeys

Monday, August 07, 2006

The Glair - Jews on the Rampage

The Glair - Jews on the Rampage and French on the World Stage

by Jacques Wausau Gallocks for Rooters News Service

Last updated: 9:57 AM
Monday, August 7, 2006

It was reported today that a joint US-French effort to broker a resolution providing for an international peacekeeping force to be deployed to southern Lebanon may fall apart over renewed US-European tensions.

At the heart of the latest round of allied conflicts has been the French reluctance to lead a multinational peacekeeping force into southern Lebanon until a cease-fire has been arranged between Israel and Lebanon. This despite the fact that Lebanon has yet to fire a shot in Israel’s direction due to the fact that their castrated military force is generally reserved for post-holiday trash collection duties and are sometimes used as stand-in street corner vendors during the summer tourist season.

“We can accept the possibility for a peacekeeping operation in southern Lebanon if the Lebanese refuse a cease fire, but not when hostilities are still going on between the brave Hizbollah patriots and those dirty little Jew-creatures,” said the French representative to the UN. “Our own Hizbollah representatives in Paris tell us that it is unacceptable to try and place French troops into southern Lebanon when Hizbollah has yet to eradicate Israel and so we must give them time to accomplish their mission. Plus we are not thrilled with the prospect of Muslims rioting throughout France if we act prematurely. The US is crazy to suggest such an idea. They do not understand the delicacy of geopolitical concerns or know how much we have to pay police overtime to suppress our own population. Plus the insurance losses are astronomical!”

Asked what the French troops would do if they were theoretically deployed to Lebanon and came under enemy fire, a French diplomat responded, “We would do what we had to do, surrender immediately to the Jews. But it would certainly be a black day throughout France. However we could still snatch vindictiveness from the jaws of surrender by simply once again helping to accelerate the Iranian nuclear program.” As proof of the French resolve to achieve real peace in our times a Reuters photographer was able to snap a shot of the French press corp. sniggering their approval of the comment but the shot had to be retracted when it was discovered that related shots had been doctored to reveal a caricature of a rat faced Jewish demon being beaten by French photographers. The actual shot was of a French riot control officer being overwhelmed and mauled by young Arabs burning cars and dressed as Hamas suicide bombers. Reuters was unavailable for comment, but the French consulate immediately apologized to the French people for the forgeries being discovered.

Meanwhile in Lebanon itself it was reported that Israel had massacred 60 innocent civilians in a small Lebanese village in the south, a report that was disputed by the UN who claimed that upwards of 600 had been killed in the Israeli bombing attack. The Israelis claimed to have telephoned everyone in the area three days prior to the attack and to have publicly pleaded with everyone in the area to evacuate but to no avail, somewhere between 60 and 600 corpses were still shipped to the area from northern Lebanon immediately following the end of the attack. International Human Rights Organizations on the ground then inflated the figures to over 6000 until it was discovered by forensic examination that all but one of the victims had been dead for over six months prior to the outbreak of hostilities. A Lebanese doctor said that the one true victim of the massacre had actually died from a heart attack when the air raid siren had sounded on the Israeli side of the border. Still both Hizbollah and the Arab league claimed it was a real massacre and that it was yet more proof of uncontrolled Israeli aggression and blood lust. “It doesn’t matter if only one person was actually killed,” said a Hizbollah spokesman. “It was the intent to massacre that was the real issue. You do know don’t you that Jews cook little Arab children in pots to make their godless bread and they mix monkey blood with human blood in their sacrifices. We’ve every right to lie when Jews do stuff like that.”

In a related development the Democratic Party in the United States has expressed deep interest in using Hizbollah propaganda techniques and casualty inflation figures to assist turnout in the November elections. “We’re pretty sure we can do the same thing in America that Hizbollah is doing in Lebanon so that this time we can actually win an election and defeat those damned, stinking, cheating Republicans,” said Howard Dean. “The Republicans are nothing more than the Jews of America.” To which the French ambassador voiced his immediate assent.

End Story.

© JWG. 2006

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