Poll of a Billion Monkeys

Friday, March 06, 2009

A New Era: Part Deux

The Glair - A New Era: Part Deux



I’VE GOT A WARM, TINGLING FEELING RUNNING DOWN MY LEG. OBAMA MUST BE PISSING ON MY PERSONAL WEALTH AGAIN.


BARACK OBAMA – IF YOU’RE GIVING A LOT OF MONEY TO CHARITY THEN I’M GOING TO TAX YOU MORE, IF YOU’RE NOT PAYING TAXES THEN YOU GET MORE MONEY FROM OTHERS FOR YOURSELF. THAT’S FAIR, AIN’T IT?


OBAMA – I’M TIRED OF BUSINESSMEN EMPLOYING SO MANY PEOPLE. SO I’M GOING TO TAX THEM UNTIL THEY LEARN THEIR LESSON.


OBAMA – IN THE NEW ECONOMY “NEED IS GOOD” AND I’M WORKING HARD TO SPREAD IT AROUND.


WHEN IN RECESSION STEP HARD ON THE TAX PEDAL. YOU CAN’T GO WRONG THAT WAY.


OBAMA – WE’VE FINALLY OVERCOME THE BUSINESS CYCLE, BY DESTROYING IT!


OBAMA – SEE THE REAL PLAN WAS THIS, “WRECK THE ECONOMY AND YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO WIN A WAR!”


OBAMA – “I DON’T NEED NO STINKING KATRINA, I CREATE MY OWN!”


SEE THE THING ABOUT POOR PEOPLE IS, THE MORE YOU CREATE THE BETTER YOU CAN FEEL ABOUT THEIR PLIGHT! AND IF EVERYONE IS POOR THEN WE CAN ALL FINALLY FEEL GOOD ABOUT BEING BAD OFF!


TERRORISM WAS NEVER REAL, BUT TAXES ARE!


IN MY FIRST YEAR I INTEND TO SHUT GUANTÁNAMO, BUY UP ALL THE BANKS, SPEND ALL YOUR RETIREMENT MONEY, CREATE TRILLIONS IN DEBT, REVIVE THE UNIONS, AND BAILOUT AIG AND GM. HOW YA LIKE ME NOW?


BARACK OBAMA – THE FIRST REAL PRESIDENT FOR THE 11TH CENTURY AND THE NEW FEDERAL FEUDALISM.


OBAMA – I’M DOING THINGS MY WAY, EVIDENCE BE DAMNED!
BECAUSE I’M A NEW KIND OF DEMOCRAT


“NEVER WASTE A GOOD CRISIS THAT HAS BEEN HANDED TO YOU, AND THE ONLY THING BETTER THAN A GOOD CRISIS IS A TERRIBLE ONE THAT YOU CREATE YOURSELF.”


I’M THOUGHTFUL, ENGAGED, WELL-SPOKEN, INTENSELY INVOLVED, AND I KNOW WHAT PEOPLE REALLY WANT AND NEED TO HEAR. MY NAME IS NAPOLEON BONAPARTE. (YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY BARACK OBAMA, DIDN’T YOU?)


YOU CAN’T MAKE FUN OF THE FIRST LIBERAL BLACK PRESIDENT. THE BEST YOU CAN HOPE TO DO IS ENDURE HIM.


FOR ALL OF YOU LIBERALS, I’M SORELY TEMPTED TO POINT AND LAUGH AT YOU, BUT THE SAD PART IS, WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER NOW…


IN THE NEW ECONOMY THE ONLY INDUSTRY THAT WILL BE COMPLETELY RECESSION-PROOF WILL BE THE HEALTHCARE INDUSTRY. THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A SECOND.


No comments: