Love and Sunshine in the Middle East

The Glair - Love and Sunshine in the Middle East



By Julius Dagonet Adair for the DisMissal

Last Updated: 4:10 PM
Tuesday, April 15, 2008





Today former President Jimmy Carter met with several Palestinian leaders, including a member of Hamas. Following a brief and yet cordial embrace between the two men Hamas issued a press statement describing the meeting. “It was our pleasure to exchange mutual embraces of goodwill between ourselves and President Jimmy Carter. As most people around the world now know President Carter was the man truly elected in Florida, and unlike the criminal Bush, who has killed so many Palestinians and Iraqis, President Carter is the man who best represents the will of the American people. Like so many life-long Democrats President Carter understands foreign policy in a way few other types of people ever could.” The US State Department has declared Hamas to be a terrorist organization.

Carter expressed his many thanks for the warm reception he received by the Palestinian leaders and said that he was moving on to meet other leaders of Hamas when the opportunity presents itself later in the week. Speaking at an off-camera press conference arranged by Palestinian television Carter declared his appreciation. “Since arriving here I have been showered with wine, flowers, and chocolates. And they don’t even drink here. I feel like a real Queen of a Man.” Potential Democratic Candidate Hillary Clinton expressed interest in meeting with the leaders of Hamas only if she were promised in advance plentiful shots of rum, whiskey, and tequila. Barak Obama however announced his immediate desire to meet with any leaders of Hamas or any other terrorist group at the first available opportunity and with no restrictions on what is discussed. He did however say that he would ask any terrorist leader with whom he met if it was wise to cling to guns and religion because this was likely to alienate voters in more goat conscious desert and rural areas. “Nevertheless,” Obama continued, “I think most terrorists should continue to stubbornly stick to their previous positions so as not to lose advantage with their base. Al Qaeda means the base you know, and if you lose your base then how can you scare little white women walking down the street? It just isn’t possible. You’ve got to keep your Mojo for when it can do the most good.”

Carter seemed to agree with this assessment and while being questioned by American reporters he grabbed his crotch several times. At one point the room fell silent when an American reporter asked Carter how he felt meeting with a man who was accused of having been responsible for the murder of over two dozen American citizens? Carter responded by saying, “I didn’t see him kill anybody, did you see him kill anybody? It’s just like on the streets of Tupelo when they accuse the bearded man of doing all of the raping and killing and such without any real DNA evidence. We’ve got to stop all of this hatred of the bearded man. It’s just plain ignorant!”

Barak Obama released a statement saying that he understood the plight of the bearded man but that bearded men should not cling to their facial hair out of fear of the baby-faced Mexican. And Hillary Clinton, asked if she feared the bearded man said, “Emphatically not! I am not now nor have I ever been a bearded man. I just drink hard and shave often, that’s all. I think it’s elitist and condescending to say that just because a woman curses a lot and has many obvious masculine traits that she is someone for the electorate to fear. If anything I think I meld the best traits of my husband with the best traits of Paula Jones after the nose job. Any terrorist would love to bag me, of course, but they would also be very afraid to snipe at me. They know I’m not afraid to launch a missile or two.”

Later in the day President Carter stopped by for a taping of a popular Palestinian children’s television show. Carter was both entertained and amused as he watched a puppet show in which several Jewish soldiers were killed by a child puppet in an explosive vest, and puppet women lamented how Americans are causing them to starve while they grow fat off the blood of Iraqi babies. The show ended with several Fatah puppets being executed by firing squad and a rousing chorus of “Allah kill the thieves.”

After that Carter stepped outside to join a street riot already in progress, then finished off his schedule by firing an AK-47 in the air at passing Israelis predator drones, and neck-lacing and burning alive a Palestinian collaborator. Carter concluded his first day on the ground by calling for international observers to monitor the next election cycle, and for UN intervention in Jerusalem. “It’s time,” he said, “to give the city of peace back to the people by forcing the UN to take control of it.”

Asked what he would do for an encore Carter replied, “I’ve already thought of that. I’m going to fight my way into Gaza and tell the Jews, ‘Tear Down this Wall!’”

Save This Page

Wednesday Religious Assessment 11/22/06

Wednesday Religious Assessment

Prayer in the Air

Muslims questioned for prayer activities in-flight.

Pope Denounces Killing of Lebanese Christian Leader

Protests in Turkey

Mystery of Christ

Christ in Russia

The Fountain - Sounds like a very interesting film from the review. I'll be going to see it.

Beslan School Massacre And Russian Churches

The Desires of Married Women

Haggard's Harrow

Conservative Democrats and the Religious Right

Beginning of the End of the Schism?

Blood Brothers

Stephen Unbound

The Christian Exodus From Israel

All At Once

Pesharim - All At Once

1. The Cloud of Autumn Operation has begun.

It seems extremely coincidental the roof of the mosque would collapse only after the gunmen had fled. The use, by the militants of a large group of female human shields seems to be a fairly new tactic in group and guerrilla skirmishes. I suspect that we will see more of this type of public call/rapid response/civilian shield tactic. As a regrouping, delaying and escape maneuver it was quite effective. The next step of course will be to employ Child Shield brigades as well as combined Women-Child Shield Brigades.


2. This is going to be interesting to follow: Ted Haggard
It is difficult for me to imagine how he could admit to some guilt in the matter and yet deny having a homosexual relationship. I guess it depends upon how one defines a "relationship."
Of course It is always possible that he intended to engage in homosexual relations but never actually wen through with it, that it was all talk. We'll see as he seems willing to admit his guilt at least to a degree.


3. Considering the large number of separate and often competitive governmental and sub-governmental and paramiligovernmental agencies and organizations operating within Iran (the "Islamic Republic" has no aversion at all to imitating the West in developing a complex set of competitive agencies and entities within its governmental structure) this is a dangerous development indeed. A single missile penetrating our Aegis defenses and you have considerable damage to a US or allied vessel, as well as the necessary conditions for at the very least a regional naval war. Iranian Antiship Missiles.

What worries me more is that Iran now possesses enough offensive naval might to make any blockade more than problematic and to assist narco and criminoterrorists and smugglers with their transport and smuggling operations.

I can also see contract smugglers and terrorist cells as well as rogue powers like North Korea seeking to buy Iranian naval escorts to attempt to circumvent or disrupt naval blockades and interdictions.

It is no coincidence that the operation is called Great Prophet 2. They see these developments as part of their overall strategy to provoke regional conflict and evoke the Mahdi.


4. Price Wars: This will be good for the overall economy and should be a boon for the consumer. It should shorten inventories a bit as well.


5. Can Microsoft and Novell do together what neither has ever been able to do separately. Destroy Linux by supporting it?


6. No Duff. See me here: Cell Wars

The Exchange - Threat and Victim

The Exchange - Threat and Victim

A friend sent me this article. I thought it so well written with such a great counterintuitive point that I decided to post it here.

The Real Islamic Threat

Friday, September 22, 2006
By James Jay Carafano

The greatest danger in the world today is not the threat from Islam, but the threat to Islam.

In the long war against terror, nations with primarily Muslim populations have suffered the most loses -- murder, instability, economic malaise and the degradation of religious faith. And it is all the fault of the terrorists who claim to be their champions.

On 9/11 and many times since, terrorists have tried attacking the West. But they’ve found the West isn’t an easy target. Britain foiled a major plot this past summer. The United States and its allies have struck back, adopting unprecedented security measures to stop further attacks.

In turn, the terrorists did what they have historically done: attacked the weak and avoided the strong. And the weak are in the terrorists’ own back yard.
Hezbollah’s adventurism offers only the latest example. Having finally emerged from decades of civil war and foreign occupation, the people of Lebanon enjoyed a brief false dawn of peace before terrorists sparked a war that killed hundreds of Muslim Arabs in Lebanon and Israel, displaced thousands more and dragged Lebanon to the brink of chaos.

The story in Iraq is much the same.

The Memorial Institute for the Prevention of Terrorism in Oklahoma City estimates that, to date, Iraq has suffered 5,771 terrorist attacks, totaling 14,680 deaths and thousands more in casualties. The country holds the current world record by a large margin. And it’s violence launched by Muslims, against Muslims.

Since 9/11, the institute has recorded 8,491 terrorist attacks in the Middle East and 16,269 fatalities -- numbers that by far exceed the losses in any other part of the planet.

In the last year alone, the government’s National Counterterrorism Center counted 8,223 victims of terrorism, including 2,627 deaths. South Asia, another region with large Islamic populations, runs second on the list with 5,401 total victims. In contrast, Western Europe suffered 339 victims and North America eight.

And it is not just the physical losses.

By virtually every index, many countries that are losing ground in the march to peace, prosperity and justice are Muslim. Terrorism is a key reason why. In The Heritage Foundation’s Index of Economic Freedom, for example, Lebanon and Malaysia scored lower in 2005 than they did in 2004. Countries such as Afghanistan and Somalia were so chaotic they couldn’t even be scored.

According to the rankings of the non-partisan group Freedom House, in 2005 only one country out of 18 in the Middle East was graded as “free” (Israel). The region trails all others in the Freedom House rankings, and although modest gains were recorded last year (most notably in Lebanon), even that’s probably wiped out now.

Even Muslim charities are suffering from all the chaos, particularly in the United States. According to The Washington Post, charitable donations are way down. Religious organizations have been able to send only a paltry amount of aid for humanitarian relief in Lebanon. That’s because people know terrorists have used some Islamic charities as cash cows, so all charities are now suspect.
Terrorist propaganda argues that all the murder and mayhem is justified by religious sanction. That is simply a perversion of the Islamic faith. The use of “jihad” for what is essentially a political agenda is not part of Islamic tradition. In fact, when it has been used that way before, the results have usually been disastrous -- for Muslims.

The followers of al-Mahdi tried it in the Sudan in 1885; the result was 10 million dead Sudanese and a failed revolution. And the Muslim world learned a lesson. For almost a century, until the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, armed jihad was virtually unknown. Now it’s back.

After expelling the Soviets, the Taliban used the excuse of jihad to turn the country into a wasteland, and Osama bin Laden tried to unleash this brand of armed fascism on the world. Not surprisingly, where it has worked, its worse effects were on the followers of Islam -- the easy victims.

The real victors when the long war is won will be the Muslim world. Its people will be saved from the suffering terrorism causes, and their religion will be saved from a secular perversion that tries to turn an act of faith into a justification for naked aggression.

The great common cause in this war would be for all of us to battle those who would intentionally murder innocents for political gain.

Groups like al Qaeda, Hamas, Hezbollah and state sponsors of terrorism such as the governments in Syria and Iran are on the wrong side of history and religion, and they should be treated as the common enemy of all peoples.

James Jay Carafano, Ph.D., is Senior Research Fellow for National Security and Homeland Security at The Heritage Foundation (heritage.org), and author of the new book “G.I. Ingenuity.”